It’s Getting Hot in Here, So Take Off All Your…Wait

So if you live anywhere in the Northeast, you’re sweating right now. A lot. Like it’s disgusting here—record-breaking, 100 degree temperatures in Philadelphia with humidity that feels like you’re walking through hot sauce.

Even my cat is protesting the heat wave, because let’s face it, you know it’s bad when your cat shows no interest in going outside. She’s barely moving off her chair—except to vomit.

Now, I could keep the air conditioner running full blast to keep from dripping like that girl in the Ring movies. But, a) I don’t want to go broke given that my electricity bill already costs more than my mortgage, and b) if I pump up the AC nonstop doesn’t that mean all those documentaries I watched on global warming were for nothing?

So, yesterday I decided to work at a coffee shop. They’ve got free internet and free air conditioning, which at this point is my vision of heaven. And while there, I ran into a colleague of mine who’s been helping me plan my book launch party. She was also there hoping to suck up the AC. You see, when you live in Philadelphia and your house is four stories high with your office on the top floor, working from home can get a bit uncomfortable. And by “uncomfortable,” I mean you find yourself cursing your own sense of logic at purchasing a 175-year-old, vertical home surrounded by nothing but brick and pavement. So, I’ve resorted to working in my kitchen, which is in my basement, because it’s cooler (really, you gotta visit Philly to understand). That means I’m working surrounded by my dishwasher, my washer-dryer and my HVAC system, which when all running simultaneously can sound a bit like the opening scene to Saving Private Ryan.

Anyway, I spent most of yesterday reaching out to schools in the Philadelphia area about possible speaking engagements in the fall (when my series launches). And I got a great response! Four school districts are already planning to host me. But that’s not the best part. I spoke to my former high school English teacher and she was so sweet!

First, isn’t it nice to just to be remembered? I graduated with about 400 students let’s just say a few years ago. Second, it’s even better when said teacher sends a glowing email that even your grandma couldn’t write (if my grandma were alive and actually able to write in English). And finally, my English teacher forwarded my email to my Spanish teacher who sent an equally nice email—in Spanish!

After this experience, I have to say to all of you writers out there, when the rejections are pouring in and you feel like you can’t write yourself a Hallmark card, think of contacting your high school teachers. Because you wouldn’t have become writers without them, and they deserve to know how much they influenced you. Plus, you get some really uplifting responses in return, which when your knee-deep in miserable responses from editors can make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Not that you need any help in the warm department—at least not until this heat wave ends.

POP-CULTURE RANT: Legally Blonde The Musical

Now, I haven’t seen the Broadway show…yet. But this “reality” competition on MTV is hysterical, and I’m not sure that’s its intention. Some of these girls are trying so hard to act like Elle Woods that they sound like complete crazies. I’m all for showing a little self-confidence, and I love Legally Blonde, but Elle is a fictional character! Her perky spunk is meant for the stage. And looking into a camera and saying that you’re “awesome, blossom, fabulous, fantastic,” might be taking things one bend-and-snap too far.