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Thursday, June 26, 2008

My Top Ten Reasons Why Not to Work at the Jersey Shore

When you live in Philly, the closest coastline is that of the lovely Garden State. Us shoobies (vacationers who mob the shore points and make it miserable for the locals) frequent the beaches from Atlantic City (though I’m not sure if anyone actually touches the water there) to beautiful Victorian Cape May. I, personally, am a big fan of Avalon, Stone Harbor and Seas Isle City. My body, however, is not.

You see I’m allergic to New Jersey. Seriously.

I have to medicate myself with Claritin, nasal spray and allergy eye drops every time I visit the state just so I don’t sneeze myself into a coma. But somehow this doesn’t seem to prevent me from hitting the beaches. And this summer, I made the mistake of thinking I could actually get some work accomplished while hanging seaside. Yeah, not so much.

So I’ve decided to create a Top Ten list of…

Reasons It’s Not Possible to Work at the Jersey Shore

10. If you’re sharing a house with a family that has two small children it might be hard to concentrate over Sesame Street and bedtime tantrums.

9. If the house has five bedrooms and each one is occupied with at least two friends/family members, you’re lucky to get time to use the bathroom alone edit your novel.

8. When your rental house has a security-enabled Internet connection and the owners don’t leave the password, it’s hard to rely on the stolen wireless signals of neighbors long enough to check your email.

7. Nice beach days. ‘Nuf said.

6. You’ve pre-cooked three meals for the household and are now responsible for heating them up. And drinking some wine while you cook, and maybe a little beer…

5. When your options of activities range from sitting in the sun, to walking on the boardwalk, to biking to a nature reserve, to getting ice cream—it’s hard to chose the “edit my novel” option.

4. When the shower is drain is clogged with sand, you have to unclog it. And it can take awhile, so you might need another beer.

3. Little kids make lots of noise—did I mention this already?

2. You’d rather read someone else’s novel while sitting on your beach chair than read you own novel for the millionth time.

And number one….

1. My body breaks out in hives when exposed to Jersey air for more than four days. I’m not joking. My legs and arms look like I have leprosy by the end of the week, and I can only survive on Benadryl for so long before I have to rightfully return myself to the City of Brotherly Love.

Sorry Jersey, but as much as I love your seashells and water ice, there’s only so much this Philly Girl can take.

POP-CULTURE RANT: Twilight

I haven’t seen TV in a week, so I have no boob tube rants to report. But I will say that I’m reading Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight and I’m loving it. I was worried that it might be too “Buffy” with a mortal falling in love with a vampire and all—and I love Buffy, so I’m not willing to accept a lowly substitution. But it’s very intriguing in its own right and I can’t wait to read more. It definitely deserves all the praise it received. However, I’m still upset that Buffy is no longer on and I do sometimes find myself humming the musical while turning the pages.

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